Dear American civilians,

'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military or those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand.

Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces,' and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', Inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out.

If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

9. 'Your mama wears combat boots.' never made sense to me - stop saying It! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass!

10. bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military.

That reminds me- if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.

'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.

'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

'It's the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

Ever wonder why athletes...

...and others in that business can't have regular jobs?

Priceless examples:

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all de kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she's too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

TO: God.Com

Dear Lord,

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through
my head:

God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
And safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there's one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind my asking,
Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me into where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail Inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.Com

Amen

My sentiments, exactly...

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

Speaking of Sven and Olie...

Sven And Olie


Sven and Olie were vacationing and attended their first fair. The first thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris wheel.

"Oh, Olie," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels. Let's go ride on dat von."

Olie, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh, I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me."

"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."

Olie couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went. Olie had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun. After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller coaster.

"Oh Olie," says Sven, "Vould you look at dat. Dat's von fine looking roller coaster. I tink ve should go for a ride on dat."

"Oh, I don't tink so." says Olie. "Dat looks very dangerous to me."

"Vell," says Sven. "You give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go vit me on dat roller coaster."

Again Olie couldn't come up with a good reason so they both went up on the roller coaster. Olie had to admit after the ride that it wasn't so bad. After another 10 minutes or so, they came to the bungee jump.

"Oofdah!" exclaimed Sven. "Vill you yust look at dat, Olie. Dose people yump off dat big tower vit nuttink but a rubber band tied to dare ankles. Dat looks like so much fun. Come on, let's go do it."

Oh, I don't tink so," says Olie. "Dat's much too dangerous. Dis is vare I draw da line."

"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go up on dat tower and yump off vit me."

"Ya, I give you a good reason," says Olie. "I came into dis vorld because of a broken rubber and, by yimminy, I'm not going to leave it da same vay.

I like a good joke...

...and even some not so good jokes! I have a good sense of humor, I think.

I've decided to post some jokes that I have come across over the years. I hope you like at least a few of them. :P Being of Polish descent, from the largest Polish heritage area in the nation (at least at one time it was), I have had to endure many a Polish joke over the years. Some of them are p-r-e-t-t-y bad! This one, not so much! :P (most of the jokes I heard growing up, the Poles were replaced with Minnesotans (Sven and Olie)!

---------------

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Pole replied, "I know the guy."

Going in to week nine undefeated...

...so I'm going to take this moment to brag! ;)



But, you know, I like my team whether they win or lose. Most teams have fanatics, but the Pack has true fans!

Go Packers!

Family Values? How will you bring up your children?

We received an email from my mother last week (Fri, Oct 28). The message was simple and to the point!

"Hi
I just wanted to let you know that Russell (John) Willard died yesterday.
Dolly called and let me know.
We have some pretty cool weather now. Furnace time.
Everything and everybody seems to be doing ok.
Happy Halloween
Love Mom"

It may seem cold and callous to some, but this is Mom! She is in her eighties, having survived her husband and three oldest children (thus far - there are four of us left)! She does NOT do email, unless it's to forward jokes! This was a huge effort on her part! Personally, I would have preferred a phone call, but maybe this was easier for her to handle it!

John was my cousin, eldest of the generation, in his seventies. He was the only child of my aunt on my Father's side. The only child besides me and my siblings! My mother's side is quite large! You can't expect much else, coming from a Polish Catholic community!

But anyway, John will be dearly missed and kept in our prayers! He is survived by his wife, Dolly (Rose), and two daughters!

When I was growing up, there wasn't a lot of money, so there was not a lot of ceremony come birthdays, holidays or even Christmas! Birthdays were not a big deal! "It's just another day!" we were reminded. When a relative would pass on, we would hear, "It happens!"

My mother is a stoic woman! I can count the times I've seen her cry on one hand. One can only imagine how she handles herself in private!

More Dynasty Warriors

Ever since I'd been introduced to Dynasty Warriors by my kids with Dynasty Warriors 3 (or was it 4 - the kids will set me straight), I've been hooked! November 15, 2011 marks the release of Dynasty Warriors 7 Extreme Legends! Can't wait!

Includes two new and one returning characters for Wei:

Guo Jia


Pang De returns


Wang Yi


I'm more excited for this than The Sims 3 Pets in late October!

It would be neat to have the Dynasty Warriors outfits in The Sims 3!

Postcards...

I met a lot of people over the years, many who became very good friends. I've received letters and postcards from many of them throughout the years and want to share a couple of my favorite postcards.

When I was in Frankfurt a.M., I was assigned to the [then] 3rd Support Command, in the Resource Management Office. My supervisor was a very nice German woman - Alice! While on holiday, she sent me this postcard!



This Christmas postcard was dear Sonny. She was an Italian woman who was the hostess at Delfino's Guesthouse in Frankfurt.



I know they mean nothing to everyone else, but they mean the world to me. :P

The things we tend to save...

...or misplace!

It's surprising what you find hiding in the recesses of your bureau drawers or buried deep within your closets, basement or attic...

I found this little tidbit that I saved! The anniversary card my wife gave me on our seventh anniversary...



The inside verse reads: "...from the lady who cleans your moat and feeds the crocodiles."

I wonder if crocodiles refers to the children?

First picture...

Here's the first gratuitous buffalo picture! It's from a calendar; a calendar from long ago; long, long ago; hence the fold line! :P The year isn't displayed, so I cannot tell you what year it was! :P



As I sort through my collection of "crap from the ages," I'm sure you'll be blessed with even more gratuitous pictures! :P

Just a place...

...to post my random rants and other crap!

Why? Because...well...let's face it...like so many others...I have nothing to say...

And why buffalo, you may ask? You did ask, didn't you? Yes, of course you did!

Well, it all started back then, when these friends {buddies, if you will - wonders what they're up to these days), Scott and Tim, would pass me in the halls and offer the greeting, "How's your dog? How's your God-damned Dog?"

Personally, I think they listened to too much George Carlin, but that IS their choice, then, isn't it?

I digress! Getting back to the subject at hand, my response to their greeting was "I don't much care for dogs!" It's not that I don't like dogs, mind you! They are just too high maintenance for me.

So anyway, they decided they needed to change thee greeting to something I would like and reciprocate with, so the next meeting in the hall was met with "How's your buffalo? How's your Go...?" And there you have it!

Quite a boring little tale, really; but you DID ask!

Since then, I have been (sort of) collecting buffaloes! I occasionally receive gifts or buffalo (stuffed, statues, etc.), pictures of buffalo, or items with pictures of buffalo...perhaps I'll share some pictures some day! Perhaps! :P